Big man’s blog

Enjoy My Delicious Food!

Man ❤ Food

My name’s Big boss, and I used to play for the international England rugby team. Now mans a chef.

5 years ago, I went to a restaurant and the food was awful. On that day I decided I was going to make the most revolutionary food ever, but there was one problem. I can’t cook. But don’t worry, because I went to Le Cordon Bleu, and graduated top of my class. I went on to cook Barack Obama’s last meal as president. See man’s a baller. Speaking of baller, I also played in the NBA championship when I was 15, and I won the Larry O’Brien award 3 years in a row. Speaking of row when I was 11 I won the Indian rowing championship. Speaking of championship, when I was 6 I went to the Barcelona stadium and man dribbled past Pique, rainbow flicked it over Busquets, RKOed Suarez, slide tackled Messi into a wall, and nutmeg-ed ter stegen. Mans a legend. Speaking of Legends, when I was 3, I won the universal golfing championship and I was famous all over the world. Speaking of the world, when I was 1, I created NASA, and at the same time invented the light bulb. Oh and I also gave birth to a dyslexic camel. See how mad I am?

You gotta love food

A little taste of life

Starter

The big man special
Roasted geese bum served with a side of chicken sweat, all topped up with a refreshing drink of juiced cow poo.
$498,789.00

Main

Death
Fried underwear and some healthy melted skin, a small dip of liquid breasts, all covered in mouth watering brown paint. Also the beautiful essence of poison ivy.
$98,683,343.83

Dessert

Afterlife
This boiled surprise will melt in your mouth! Enjoy some boiled dinosaur tails, covered with alligator urine, smeared with George Washington’s vomit, all inside an enormous roasted donkey large intestine. On the side you can enjoy a drink of juiced pigeon brain.
Free! (only if you buy $982,738,362,504,930,302.99 worth of our food!)

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